What Our Words Dont Say, Our Bodys Do...

It is often those who remain silent that say the most, my father used to tell me that when I was a small child. I never really understood that, how can I say the most if I am silent? I figured it was just his way of telling me to be quiet, but as I have grown up I have learned that so much can be said when nothing has physically been said at all. How this work you ask, body language is a huge factor. When your talking with someone, best friend, teacher, boy/girl friend, family member ect and they have their arms crossed and are looking around a lot. What message does that send to you? Does that tell you that your entraining them and you should continue on? Or so it make you feel like your boring them and you should just stop talking? More than likely it would make you feel like a bother, like your thoughts, opinions and feelings didn’t matter, and you would stop talking. Well your family member didn’t say anything! They didn’t tell you to be quiet, they didn’t tell you that your story was about as entraining as watching oat meal thicken, but you heard them loud and clear. It is our nonverbal behavior that often times not only reinforces what were saying, but tells people that we are being active listeners and engaged in what they are saying. There are many factor that contribute to ones non verbal language such as culture, gender, and media. Different cultures show respect in a different way. Say your friend is of the Asian culture, you and him/her are having a conversation but they do not make eye contact with you and when you go to shake their hand or embrace they get nervous. Well their non verbal language gives off the impression that your boring them, or that you have upset them in some way when in fact it is just traditional Asian culture not to physically embraces with others and it is a sign of respect not to make eye contact. Each culture has their own set of rules and we should become more a wear of this so not to read their non verbal signs in a negative way. I personally like non verbal forms of communication. My friends think its funny how easy I am to read and while its nice at times, other times it’s a real pain. I am upset by what their saying they see it, which is cool but then sometimes its not because the things that are being said need to be said. Its ironic I read this topic on Monday and was kind of deciding which I was going to choose for the posting this week, and I noticed so many people’s non verbal language. I was at the mall with my god son and I saw this girl working at the sticker cart in the middle of the mall, and a guy walked up and started talking to her. He was leaning in towards her and kept touching her arm and hand, and she was leaning back in her chair, looking around kept moving her arm away. She was texting on her phone, not making eye contact and the guy was just still standing there trying to talk with her. Any outsider could clearly see from her non verbal quos that she was not feeling it. It really is amazing how much we say without actually saying a word. Another thing I really like about non verbal language is the excitement that can be conveyed. I mean when your talking to someone you can see what they think about what you just said, you can tell if their happy or excited, we can see so much if we just pay attention.